10 Ways to Find My Happiness Again

So, I'm sitting here at almost midnight on a Friday night.

I think I'm having a mid-life crisis.

I weigh the most I've ever weighed in my life...non-pregnant. I feel 'stuck' in my job, which is my own personal business. I am getting terrible sleep (yeah, it's midnight, remember?). My skin has the worst acne I've ever had. I am not a patient, fun-loving, mom I used to be. To be honest, my relationship with my husband is in a lull, too. I am just in an overall funk.

What's missing?

Is this because I'm nearing the big 3-0 in a month and a half?

Is it because we are moving in a month?

Is it because I just am overwhelmed and need to simplify?

I think it is a combination of all of those things and a few others if I am truly honest with myself. I think the number one thing affecting me being my physical well-being (aka sleep, diet, and weight/health). I know I am getting OLDER, but I have never felt it more than I do in the past 6 months.

So, I've been brainstorming over the past few weeks what changes I need to make. There are already some big changes coming up as we move to another state for my husband to start with yet another residency (luckily the last one though)! Here are my top ten changes I need to make to be ME again:

1. Sleep
Get a decent amount of sleep each night... BUT not only this, get up earlier. I remember a time a little over two years ago when I felt the BEST I ever had. The biggest change I'd made in my life was getting up earlier AND...

2. Working out daily
I got up early and first thing- went to the gym or for a run. I worked out first thing. Before anyone else in the house was awake. I made me and my health a priority. It was amazing and I FELT so much better. It was great to feel so happy and productive. Getting up early just gave me that jump start to the day and got my workout out of the way early so I could keep my focus throughout the day to...

3. Eat GOOD foods
After my workout I would make sure to clean house a bit while I made my smoothie or breakfast. This start to my day set the tone for the rest of the day. I didn't have 'guilt' either if I splurged a little here or there because I'd already got my workout in for the day.

4. Devotionals
I need to make time to focus my day and my family's day around Christ. I KNOW as I have done this the day just seems to go better. The kids are happier. I feel more patient. I feel more guided and directed. I feel connected to my greater purpose. It is so important to keep an eternal perspective on life, especially when things get hard, which they ALWAYS do. Taking time to do this transforms my experiences or those 'trials' though and helps me learn cheerfully through them.

5. Simplify
I am so sick of cleaning, cleaning, cleaning. I recently purged 10 HUGE garbage bags full of clothes between my 5 year old, my 3 year old, and myself. And we still had closets and dressers full. That's a bit ridiculous and makes me realize why I ALWAYS had laundry to clean. It makes me realize that there are SO many other material ways we can simplify too: toys, dishes, clutter and random homeless items that never really have a spot so they just keep getting moved from one place to the next. I refuse to move so much purpose-LESS junk with me.

6. Get Away
I've realized that I have a love-affair with traveling. I recently went to Bali, solo, for about a week and a half. It was a life-changing experience. Since I haven't been able to stop thinking about other places I want to see, things I want to do, etc. My husband has always wanted to sky-dive. It scares the bee-gee-bees out of me, but if it is something he wants to do, then he should do it before he gets too old to enjoy it, right? My kids LOVE road trips. We sit at home all day doing so little though. THIS needs to change.

7. Decrease screen time
...For both me and my family. I know that the more I am connected to a screen the more my quality of REAL life decreases. It is a hard truth to admit to ourselves and an ever harder truth to live it seems for me. I am always walking around with my phone in hand and love binge-watching a good show on Netflix, but let's face the reality-horn here (whatever that is)... it adds NOTHING, zip, zero, zilch, to the eternal quality of my life unless it is intentional time (which is VERY seldom if we are honest, yet again, with ourselves... or it begins as intentional and then we get lost in the world of pinterest or Facebook).

8. Increase outside time
It is so important to spend time outside in nature. What is sad is that I am surrounded by amazing beautiful trails, forests, and biking paths and I've only taken advantage of them one single time so far this spring. Sad. I know. As we connect with nature we are able to feel more calm, peace, and grounded. We are able to get back to the truly important things. (Idea: I need to combine 6, 7, and 8 and go camping with the family for the weekend!)

9. Structure CAN be good!
I am NOT good at structure. There was a time when I was, but it hasn't been lately. Kids thrive with structure though and adults aren't much different. I know that having set hours for work will make me feel more balanced. I work during those hours gung-ho and when the time is done, I am clocked out and with my family. That is that. It makes everyone so much happier when balance is achieved. I also loved it when I planned out meals. Oh my goodness that made 5 o'clock pm so easy. I knew what was for dinner, things were already thawed, in the fridge, or whatever. I didn't have to think about it or over stress. Having that structure in for dinners was SO nice.

10. Create & Learn
Take time to make things. Pick up paints. Pick up pens, paper, pencil, whatever it may be. Create. Sit at the piano and play. Practice. Read new books. Study. Take notes. Expand my mind. These are all things that have been sorely lacking the last year unfortunately and I think my inner-creative-soul aches for this.

So... there you have it. My list of 10 things I need to do to find my true peace and happiness again. THAT is what I am going to be focusing on the next 6 weeks... to start. Starting with my physical health. So... Good night and here's to a new tomorrow!

Update

For the past three weeks I have worked out 6x/week and watched everything I've been eating. I have definitely seen the transformation slowly starting. I am doing it this time.

I did throw my back out though and am definitely needing to modify my workouts to accommodate that cruelty. It hurts. Oh well. Life goes on.

I haven't been able to work on my handstands as a result though. I hate how it seems that when you can't do something, you want to do it so much more. Know what I mean?

I have lost a few pounds. Nothing major yet. I do feel my clothes fitting looser though already. Not much, but enough that I notice. I don't know what will come of my mommy tummy/wrinkles/stretch marks and how they will affect my results. I will try to post some progress photos soon. For now, I'm pushing forward each day and seeing the tiny results.

My goals

This year I have several goals. I feel they are reasonable and attainable as well. Three or four of my 13 resolutions for the year are fitness related. They include:

1. 120 lbs
2. Break 20% body fat
3. Run/do a race/fitness competition
4. Do a handstand unsupported

Starting weight is about 141 lbs. My scale says my body fat is about 29-30% (at the beginning of the year). I can do a supported handstand for about 15-30 seconds, although I haven't actually timed it.

I got a gym membership for a meager $12/month at a gym that had everything I need to succeed. I have gone every morning this week so far.

No failing this time around.

I'm doing it.

(Photo was taken December 29, 2012.)

A new personal challenge

It has been a little over a year since I had a baby last. I have been working the last two months to get in better shape and now that it is the new year I am ready to dedicate more time and energy into it. The baby just woke up now though and I have to go be a good mommy. I'll post more details soon on my plans and progress.

Tonight's Workout

I made sure it was quick and simple because I was so busy CLEANING house all day. (Yeah, that is a major workout for a pregnant person! Ha ha!)

Here's what I did:
* Modified Push Ups- 2 sets of 10
* Plies- 3 sets of 15
* Squats- 2 sets of 20
* Standing Leg Extension- 2 sets of 15 on ea. leg
* ABC's w/ toes- 1x ea leg
* Leg Adbuctors- 2 sets of 25 on ea. leg

I'm going to go and take a nice relaxing shower and then stretch for about ten minutes before climbing between my nice, clean bedsheets. Ohhh... nice.

PS- I've got a doctor appointment in the morning! I'll have to see if I gained the right amount of weight over the last 2 weeks.

Fun & Relaxing Day

So, as I've gotten bigger with this pregnancy, exercise has gotten harder. I lose my breath or get tired legs for a few seconds after climbing a flight of stairs longer than the ones in my house. It is awkward to bend down and I avoid doing so as much as I can (which doesn't make for a clean house sometimes... ha ha). I am achy or sore without even 'working out'.

Tonight I was able to get in some dancing- cha-cha-style- via a belated Valentine's party. My husband got all into it and was so cute to watch. He can make everyone laugh and I ADORE that about him. It wasn't too much of a work-out, especially when I think of what I'm capable of doing 'un-pregnant'.

My husband and I also went and walked around the mall and people-watched today (our main intent to go to the mall was  for a free pretzel offer). That was fun, but oh-boy, my feet hurt after we left.

So, what am I supposed to do with a body that isn't what it used to be? I am going to pause and come up with a few answers for myself.

1. Regular Walks

(Not in heels, a dress, and with a purse obviously.)

My midwife advised against me running/jogging anymore in my pregnancy at about the beginning of month 7. (My last walk/jog was at about 6.5 months along for the record.) I get too sore afterwards where I pulled my muscle at month three. I'll have to stick with walking. NOW... here's the thing with walking. I am not a walker. It takes so long and I get jealous when I see people running around me. I don't get my adrenaline rush. I DO get Braxton Hicks Contractions (BHC's) though. That just means I have to slow it down even more or stop. Boo! I try to carry my weights (1# wrist bands or 3 or 5 pounds dumbbells) when I remember to increase my heart rate. Those tend to bring on the BHC's even quicker. Boo again! But, I have no other choice, so I will continue with my walks. I do about 2 miles 2-4x a week. (I'm hoping to increase it now that I'm COMPLETELY done with school.)

2. Strength Training

 I have a few exercises that I do regularly. This pelvis/wall-squat like thing (I can explain it in further detail if anyone wants) that my midwife taught me. It helps to strengthen the back and core muscles to help with labor and help prevent so much back pain. It actually feels amazing and relaxing to do. 

I also try and work out my arms regularly, but we only have 3 & 5 pound weights. (I also incorporate arm exercises w/ weights into my walks when I remember.) I figure this will all help me as I'm picking up and carrying around a little baby in a few short months... woah...

I also love glute, leg, and lower body exercises in general. I have been told that I'm getting 'curvy' and 'filling out' all over (meaning my butt since my arms are the same size)... Thanks Mom. So, I try and do squats or wall squats, lying leg ad/ab-ductors, calf raises, and hamstring exercises. (Again, if anyone wants further descriptions on what any of these are, lemme' know.) I'm trying to keep the dimples off my lower cheeks... not that I have any on my face to start with though.

3. Stretching

Oh yoga, how I love thee... I haven't done yoga since about my 24th week though. I was doing it about once a week before then. I definitely need to start this again. I am sure that there are a few good websites for prenatal yoga and there are LOADS of DVD's at my local library I could check out too. I just need to do it. I know that this will help in relieving those aches and pains, tight ligaments and muscles, and everything. I always wanted to be one of those cute prego-yoga-moms... here's my chance and I'm letting it slip by! Now that I actually look pregnant I haven't been doing it. Time to change that.

SOOOO..... 

In conclusion, I've decided that it's time to step it up a notch. I want to be in prime labor & delivery condition. It will only benefit my baby and me in the long run. I have nothing holding me back anymore. (I'm referring to no  more school/homework/studying.) My husband and I have a desire to be fit and healthy examples together. He's doing so much better and I need to kick it up so as soon as I'm able, I can catch up with him. I don't have any specific numbers or goals other than to exercise daily. Even if it is just stretching and a few strength training exercises. No excuses! 

Here goes to a healthy finish to this race I'm in... or whatever... ha ha!

PS- I weighed in this morning and although I'm not positive what it was... I'm thinking it was 154.8lbs. This means an even 20 lbs that I've gained. Yesterday was my week 33 mark... not to shabby. I'll be right on the money if I keep gaining as I should. My goal was between 25-35lbs, but keeping closer to about 28lbs if I am able. :)

Yummy...

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